5 Things I’ve Learned From Free Agency
Free agency is a damn whirlwind — and I am not even the athlete in question. But sometimes as the significant other, it can feel like your life is in a bunch of strange dudes hands…because it actually is.
Sure, for some its a negotiation between highest bidders ($$$) or making decisions based on which interested franchise has the best weather, most enticing city life, or highest chance of making the playoffs… but for us the process has simply been a ‘learning experience’. Every single time.
Riley and I have been through this three off-seasons in a row now, and I know there’s plenty of families and couples who are even more transient than we are, but I’ve definitely learned a few things along the way and it feels cathartic to share.
Nothing is official until it’s official.
I used to get all hyped every time there was a conversation about a team— googling the city, surfing on Zillow for fully furnished (dog friendly) rentals, checking to see who we knew who played there … how many miles from Chicago? How many miles from St. Catharines? American city or Canadian city? Can I work there? Is there a Whole Foods???
Don’t do that. It’s very much a waste of time and energy because you can think you’re going to Tampa Bay on Tuesday and end up signing in Edmonton on Thursday. Consider a signed contract your green light to start spastically attempting to get your ducks in a row.
Getting heated and sharing your aggressive opinions about GMs, coaches, and agents IS NOT helpful to your partner.
I am not a ‘mean spirited’ person, but when it comes to the person I love being treated like a product, I get a little protective. However, I have come to realize that this shit isn’t always about me and my feelings — and it is almost always the better play to simply be calm and supportive. I want the best for my man, but unfortunately that doesn’t mean I get to write any letters to the decision makers in this business…or at least not actually send them.
Remain neutral AF.
Pre-judging a playing city or heading into a new experience with a salty attitude will obviously lead to having a bad time. We’ve lived/played in 5 cities now, and no matter what I felt going in, I always left with a soft spot for the people and the places I’ve gotten the chance to experience. This lifestyle doesn’t last long in the grand scheme of things, so you might as well try to enjoy yourself no matter where you end up. A special part of the hockey world is that there are amazing people everywhere you go.
Planning doesn’t exist.
I am very organized. I love a nice, crisp plan, and logistics make me genuinely happy… LOL isn’t that CUTE?! I had to kiss all of that goodbye real quick. I have adjusted to living in hotel rooms with a large man and a dog, being given a 7 day deadline to choose a place to live without ever stepping foot on the premises, and walking everywhere I need to go because there’s only one rental car and Bae gets first dibs. I now see it as more family bonding time, practice making quick decisions, and the opportunity to learn my way around while staying active. It’s a hard transition if you’re type A, but honestly living in a somewhat constant state of mystery has forced me to be more open and adaptive which has served me well in other areas of my life too.
5. We are blessed.
Whenever I am having an internal panic attack because I don’t know what my life will look like in a matter of weeks, I always circle myself back to the reality of the situation. We are blessed. This lifestyle is crazy sometimes, but it’s also really fun and something that goes by FAST. I hold on to the fact that I get to watch the one I love do the thing they love, and do it at such a high level. No matter how chaotic or stressful, we’re still living someones dream life, and every scenario comes down to a matter of perspective…and it’s okay if you have to constantly readjust.