Slater’s Birth Story
Some people may be of the opinion that sharing birth stories is too personal, or that some details should be left out – I wholeheartedly (and respectfully) disagree. Listening to the birth stories of friends, family, and complete strangers was one of the most effective ways I prepared mentally for my own birthing experience – it helped me go into the experience with confidence instead of fear - and if you’re a first time mom, I can’t recommend it enough.
A friend shared a podcast with me – The Positive Birth Story Podcast with Asa Holstein – and I devoured every episode as my belly grew and my time grew closer. They are real stories from women whose births may not have gone according to plan, but all turned out positive and left them feeling like they had accomplished something incredible. Because no matter how the birth experience ends up going, the magic of meeting your baby is unlike anything else.
December 29, 2021
I learned so much just from others sharing their stories, so I hope you enjoy reading mine.
Every night leading up to my due date, and the few days I went past, I always checked in with myself to see if I felt any different as I tucked myself into bed. For me, the anticipation of finally going into labor after everything we’d endured in this last month was a mixture of excitement and nerves. I went to bed feeling normal, well extremely pregnant, but normal… and around 1am on December 29th, I woke up to a cramp – it truly felt just like a minor period cramp – but I had been waiting for this feeling and I knew that labor was finally starting. I noted what time it was, and went “back to sleep”... which was more like waiting for the next cramp with my eyes closed.
I stayed in bed silently battling and breathing as the intensity gradually increased, and the time between each contraction began to shorten. As I mentioned before, my goal was to give birth naturally – without any medication or interventions – so I was trying to rest and conserve energy for as long as possible because I had no way of knowing how long labor would last. I finally told Riley that I was in early labor around 5am. We didn’t get out of bed until around 8am, so I continued to just ride the contraction waves using minimal energy. By then, I was definitely in pain and needed to intentionally breathe through each contraction – I remember standing bent over using the arm of the couch for support as I tried to eat a piece of peanut butter toast for some energy even though I didn’t want to eat (let’s just say that piece of toast and I met again during active labor lol). Contractions were about 4ish minutes apart at this point, and I was supposed to go back into my OB’s office at 10:30am to monitor the baby again because they had been concerned that he was sluggish the day before, so I called them to ask if I should still come in as planned. They said yes, but shortly after called Riley and told him to take me straight to triage at the hospital since I was already 4 days past my due date. I called my new doula (Amanda) and let her know the new plan. She was great, and so calm. She advised me to keep breathing and not to be discouraged at all if we got there and I was only 1 or 2 cm dilated – that was common. I noted that, and continued to process that I was IN IT, our baby was coming. It was go time! – and I was so ready.
Despite having a bag packed and plans for Ryder set, it ended up being more of a production than I thought trying to get our shit together and leave while I was bending over in pain every few minutes. I had a contraction on the elevator with a stranger present on our way to the car, and I remember thinking that was really funny for some reason. We dropped Ryder off at our friends’ house and headed for the hospital that we had never even been to before. It was a very sunny day in Seattle which gave me good vibes, because as you know, sunny days are somewhat of a rarity during Seattle winters. Riley had made a “Labor Day” playlist and I remember trying to sing along to the songs between contractions as we drove – Good Pain by Yoke Lore, pun definitely intended.
We made it, parked the car, and I had multiple contractions as we tried to find our way to triage. When we got there around 10:30am, I was already completely in my own zone – my contractions were very painful and close together – and I realized that things were speeding up. (I laughed a couple days later when I found a note in my phone where I wrote the time of every contraction [they were exactly 3 mins apart as we drove] just in case the nurse asked me– Virgo to my core.) I remember lying on the table hooked up to the monitor in a small dim room being so thankful that both Riley and Amanda were with me as we sat there waiting for the doctor to come check everything out. I was also anxious to meet my doctor because I wanted to get a feel for her energy…she ended up being exactly what I needed, and I believe that I was meant to work with her instead of my normal OB. I was prepared to hear that I was only a couple cm dilated and I was trying to mentally steady myself for that news, but doc was happy & surprised to report that I was already 5 cm (!) and I felt a wave of power and excitement. Peace out early labor, we’re on to the next phase! I was so proud of myself for getting this far without really using anything other than my breath, and we were ready to head to the birthing suite.
A nurse took us up to the room where we’d meet our baby! I remember feeling really calm about the fact that I was getting closer to the big moment, and really happy that I had kept my body strong throughout my pregnancy – I truly believe that my experience would have been way more challenging physically and mentally if I hadn’t stayed active during pregnancy. I was also excited to finally start using the coping techniques I had spent a lot of time learning about in the weeks leading up – specifically water – because my pain was ramping up quickly now that I was in active labor. My doula knew that I really wanted to utilize water, and given where I was at in my labor, asked the nurse to fill the tub for me. I can’t describe how these contractions felt, but the feeling of it rising into action is something I won’t ever forget. I knew exactly when the next one was coming, and could feel the pain creep up starting at the sides of my body and peaking right in the middle of my lower torso. I did my very best to breathe deep and low between each one, and I was standing bent over with my forearms flat on the bed for most of this phase of labor. Standing helped me feel more in control for whatever reason.
I had zero awareness of my size like I had the days leading up. I didn’t consciously comprehend that I’d be walking out of the hospital very differently than I waddled in, and I didn’t say goodbye to the belly that I grew to love. It was just a weird afterthought I had.
I’m in that position, trying to manage intense contractions while a nurse *unsuccessfully* tried to get my IV in for a solid 45 minutes, small vein probs…luckily I was too focused on what I needed to do to be annoyed with her. Another nurse finally came to the rescue and got my stupid IV in…and now that I could leave that spot I was leaning all of my weight on Riley, who was literally holding me up and encouraging me as each contraction hit. I tried my best to groan in low tones, and not scream in his ears. Probably unsuccessfully. Regardless, that contact with him helped me cope so much; he was a source of comfort in such an unknown experience. He was so great. My doula also provided counter pressure to my hips, and that was amazing to lessen the strength of the contractions.
So, as a team, we’re doing this pattern at what seemed to be continuous intervals… and suddenly I hear the bathtub draining. I shot my head up and yelled at whoever would listen “why is the water draining?! I didn’t even go in yet!” I vividly remember this because I wanted the relief of the bathtub so badly, and to hear it draining was the WORST. The doctor replied, “you don't have time for that, we’re having this baby.”
I immediately accepted that there’d be no tub, despite my disappointment, and was ready to shift gears. I had to get myself up onto the bed to give my legs a break and refocus my energy, and so that the doctor could check the dilation progress. I was not comfortable just lying on my back, so I spent the rest of active labor on my forearms and knees on the bed, shoving my face into the pillow. Riley was still there by my side, rubbing my back and telling me I could do this. I needed that, because this shit was hard.
Suddenly, I felt the overwhelming need to push. I yelled at my doctor asking if I could, and she said no! WTF. I didn’t know if I could comply…when I say it was overwhelming I mean it! This part is what they call “transition” and it is wild. I felt wild. The noises coming out of me, and the pain I was feeling was wild. Things turned a little chaotic. Somehow between me having to flip onto my side for the doctor to check things out, nurses trying to get my bra over my head (LADIES DON’T WEAR A BRA WITHOUT CLIPS), and Riley trying to hold my hand, my IV was ripped out and blood shot literally everywhere. I remember seeing blood on the pillow next to my face and kind of laughing to myself because I thought of how long it took to get that stupid thing in…I mean, it had cost me my bath for heaven’s sake! Generally unfazed by this gory moment, I was more focused on the fact that I needed the green light to push. I was so beyond ready. Exasperated, I asked how much longer I had to wait, and she said “give me 2 more contractions” – that ended up being more like 5 or 6 but I battled through – they were so close together now that it was hard to distinguish between them anyway. Essentially, we were waiting for my cervix to completely efface and to ensure I was fully dilated. My water ended up breaking somewhere during this time - the strangest thing I had ever felt in my life, but weirdly relieving– and the intensity of every other feeling shot up immediately after.
It was finally time to get this baby out. I flipped onto my back and the room felt SO full. I remember feeling a little bit overwhelmed at how many people were scurrying around, but told myself that it was all to make sure that my baby was safe, and that allowed me to stay calm. Riley was to my right, legitimately holding my leg like a stir-up (what a champ!) and even though I was in my own world managing my pain and breathing through these final contractions, I was very aware of his presence. It was time to push.
Pushing is weird. Obviously it’s really hard and hurts a lot, everyone knows that. But the actual action of pushing was so odd…I had nurses and my doula coaching me from what felt like all angles, but one nurse’s voice was the loudest so I listened to her cues and quickly got the hang of it. I don’t really remember this, but Riley told me later that I was cheering everyone on in between pushes, which is hilarious to me. My bossy-ass wanted to make sure everyone was ready and paying attention. Amidst these final moments, I remember hearing the doctor tell a nurse to “prep NICU” and felt a jolt of fear. With my eyes wide, I asked Amanda “why do we need to prep NICU?”… she calmly explained the baby's heart rate was decelerating and they just wanted to be ready if any complications arose. I could live with that, but I knew we’d be fine. I was pushing as strongly and efficiently as I possibly could – The doctor said we may need to utilize the vacuum to assist in baby’s exit, and I DID NOT want that. But I also didn’t want my baby to be suffering. I was definitely concerned, but also motivated and somehow managed to stay calm and very focused because I still had work to do. I knew I could do this without any intervention. I had a push where baby’s HR increased a bit, and that was enough for the doc to lay off and not jump to other means of getting him out.
Now we reached what people call the ‘ring of fire’ … baby’s head is RIGHT there, fully crowning, and you have to just hold it and WAIT until your next contraction before you can push again. I may be weird, but I didn’t find this to be as unbearable and crazy as people had made it seem when I shared that my hope was a natural birth. My adrenaline was definitely carrying me through this phase, but I also remember breathing and thinking ‘he or she is almost here, this means I’m almost done’, and that made it bearable.
I think I only needed two more good pushes after that and Slater Michael Sheahan came swiftly noodling into the world at 1:19pm. I was in a daze, and crying of course, because I couldn’t believe HE was here. He was purple, and gooey, and absolutely beautiful. The “it’s a boy” moment was honestly a little anticlimactic because Riley and I both had a feeling our boy was in there for the majority of my pregnancy. However, the excitement, disbelief, and joy was definitely all there. They placed him on my chest immediately and I got to hold him in his very first moments of life – I’m tearing up again as I revisit that memory.
WHAT AN INCREDIBLE THING TO CREATE ANOTHER LIFE.
Unfortunately, that special moment was short because they needed to make sure he was okay and get that first cry – which to my relief, I heard from across the room not too long after they took him. Riley was over there with him, and they eventually brought him back to me wrapped in his little blanket with a little hat on his head, and I finally got to get a good look at him through my teary eyes.
I was still so overwhelmed from the entire experience, and coming down from my adrenaline high, but looking at him and then looking up at Riley right there with us was life changing – it was a moment I had dreamt of for longer than the past nine months, and it was happening. I did my best to soak everything in, and we spent the next two hours in that room as they cared for my needs (I had a few minor issues from such a quick delivery) and made sure I was okay to transfer to where we’d stay overnight.
When we finally said goodbye to Amanda (who was incredible by the way — I'll write more on my doula experience eventually), and I somehow managed to get myself into the wheelchair (ouch), they handed Slater to me again and wheeled us out. Riley grabbed our stuff, and we were ready to leave the room as a family. As we slowly made our way to another wing of the hospital, the nurse pointed out the window at an unbelievable orange and pink sky as the sun was beginning to set. I was completely exhausted but I remember the colors and clouds and buildings vividly – nature’s reminder that everything works out how it should. I had my new son, my beautiful husband, and a sense of pride and love that I can’t put into words.
There is no way to prepare for birth — you can prepare your mentality, you can prepare some of the details like where and who is there with you (if you’re lucky), and you can prepare your body by doing your best to stay strong and healthy…but there is truly nothing that I did that prepared me for something so equally difficult and empowering. Something so wild, but so beautiful. The rush of emotions when you hold your baby — a miniature miracle combination of you and the person you love — is unlike anything else. By harboring no expectations for how I thought my birth should go, it allowed me to accept everything that transpired as the way it was meant to be — it was a freeing feeling and helped me stay even-keeled throughout. The end result, sweet Slater Michael, was worth everything leading up to the moment of his arrival — I’d do it all over again without thinking twice.
Slater Michael
8lbs 2oz
21 inches
1:19pm
12.29.21
If you’re pregnant and reading this, I’m cheering you on! If you’re already a mom and reading this, I am so proud to be in this beautiful club with you, and I’m cheering you on as well. If you’re a human being who appreciates the magical process of the female body’s ability to weave together another human being — thanks for being here.
